My Celebrity Crush

I am inconceivably crushed out on Wallace Shawn.

I grew up in NYC and for many years, before my glamorous (*cough*) life as an art dealer, before the internet even*, I worked as a switchboard operator at one of Ian Schrager's hotels. I delivered flowers to Kate Moss and Johnny Depp, I chatted on the phone with members of Pearl Jam, I worked with aspiring actors and models who were tall and thin and square jawed and pretty and handsome. (Some of whom went on to be famous themselves.)

All of this cumulative experience adds up to this: I am not the sort of girl to get star struck so often, and my objects of admiration and desire are not folks like Brad and Angelina. I have a soft spot of Sandra Bernhard, and I sputtered a bit too much when I met Isaac Mizrahi recently. (Have they ceased being friends? I believe so. Very sad.) I couldn't help but kvell when I met Maira Kalman. (Wouldn't you?)

There is one single fella in our fair metropolis who unhinges me, though and that fella is Wallace Shawn. I see him around town often, although not so recently I'm sad to say. We both frequent Hasaki. Shortly before the late, lamented L'Acajou closed, my (taller, more handsome) dining companion forced me to switch seats with him because I was so riveted by the presence of Mr. Shawn that I could barely concentrate on our conversation. I bought The Fever when it came out and barely understood it, but loved it nonetheless. Mr. Shawn is NYC royalty, with a sense of humor about himself and the world that's balanced with an equal amount of cynicism. He's what Woody Allen might have been had he not turned out to be a creepy pedophile.

He's my dream date. I've been told that this explains a lot. My friend John Glassie, writer and photographer, asked Mr. Shawn some questions for The New York Times back in 2001. Here's one:

Q. Are you, by any chance, the brooding type?

A. Well I have to be something. I'm either a completely worthless parasite who is simply consuming off the backs of the oppressed in the world, or I am a consumer who is also brooding. The part about being a worthless parasite is obvious. It's not debatable, really, because I am a consumer at the top of the food chain, and I am a bourgeois citizen of the United States of America, and that, no one could possibly deny. If I'm also contributing something, it's in an ineffable and ethereal realm, which actually is debatable.

You can read the others here: Questions for Wallace Shawn.

Who's your celebrity crush?

* Technically it wasn't actually before the internet, but before the web, but no one knew about the internet then really, so that's got to count for something.

Comments

[marina]

you seriously talked on the phone with members of pearl jam? did you know pearl jam is my secret, not-so-guilty pleasure? up until very recently, i actually had a poster of their's still hanging in my bedroom.

[Jen Bekman]

Yes, and Eddie (Vedder) always insisted that Chris (Cornell) was the real rockstar.

[Lauren Cerand]

You two would make an inconceivably cute couple!

[Max]

My brother and I saw "The Conformist" a couple years ago at Film Forum. In the lobby afterward, I heard a familiar nasal voice saying, "That's exactly the kind of thing that's happening NOW in THIS country!" There was Wallace Shawn, all 5(?) feet of him, discussing creeping fascism with his companions. Very cool.

[Leslie Brown]

Maybe we both go for the blad men...for me, I've had something for Stanley Tucci. Hope you are well! - Leslie

[Leslie Brown]

Oh, and lest I forget...the ultimate art lover and philosopher, Steve Martin.

[Michael]

When I was an intern at a big time photo agency Mr. Shawn came in to do some research in the archives...I loved him as the neighbor on The Cosby Show.

[MDM]

JB, just noticed that the DVD of "My Dinner With Andre" (remember the action figures from that chris guest movie?) is a serious collector's item. Weird, cause I have one and was just about to put it on sale. Great movie, but for 150$????

[Laia]

Oh Wallace Shawn is sooo awesome! My totally ridiculous celeb(design?) crush is Stefan Sagmeister. When I moved to New York I told everyone I was going to stalk him on the 1 train (I read somewhere that's the train he takes the most) and meet him. One Sunday morning while working at the Cooper Hewitt, I saw him. I got so flustered that I turned around and hid behind the register to quell my nerves. He was there with his wife(?) looking very tall and handsome in a plaid coat. None of my coworkers understood why I was freaking out, one even said to me "You can't freak out around celebrities, I mean, Tom Hanks came in..." and I was like "Tom Hanks? Who cares about Tom Hanks? This is SAGMEISTER we are talking about". I finally caught his eye and he flashed me a smile. I think he knew I was freaking out but was grateful I didn't go up to him and made a fuss. I was beaming for days after and emailed my old design professor to tell him about it.

Best thing about living in New York.
(Sorry for the lengthy comment and for being a dork).

[Barry]

You should have gone to see "The Fever" when it was on 42nd Street recently. There was a champagne reception on the stage each night before the play began, and James and I got to talk with him. He lives down the street from us.

[Joe]

Lauren Graham. Beautiful, intelligent, and talented. She's doing "Guys and Dolls"???? I had no idea that she could sing!